Jun 20, 2008

Posted in asher, authenticity, parenting | 18 comments

Dealing With Bad News

Yesterday was met with some bad news.  Some of Asher’s test results (as outlined here) came back negative.  The part that I’m having a hard time dealing with is not knowing if the negative results are really something to worry about or not.  The doc now wants to run a more detailed test to see what we are up against.

I can’t give you details of what is going on with the test as we aren’t really sure ourselves, and we don’t want to cause any unnecessary worry; however, we did want you all to know so you could continue to pray.

I haven’t had a chance to really take a look at all of my readers here at cjmills.me, but I do believe most are parents or males.  I think I could capture nearly all of my audience in those two buckets.  This works out great because most of you then know EXACTLY how I am feeling right now…

As a parent – the LAST thing you want to see is your child in a vulnerable position…especially in one where you cannot help at all.  When Jadyn had a nasty collision that required stitches, I remember thinking, as we were driving to the emergency room, “I’m her dad, the protector, and I can’t do anything about her injury right now.”  Watching some guy you’ve never met before stitch up your kid while she is screaming her lungs out will make any man weak….  I’ve got the same kind of feeling right now about Asher.

As a male, you all can relate as males hate not being able to fix things.  I’m not exactly a handy man like my dad or my brother-in-law, but I am a pretty good problem solver when it comes to most things around the house.  My wife (and if your a married male, my guess is your wife can relate) hates the fact that I try to fix all of her/our problems.  Well, I want all you males out there to try this on for size — I’ve got no answers, no game plan, no freaking clue what is going on or how to even begin to fix it…or if there even is a fix.

Yet, here I sit in my office as my baby boy remains at the NICU, holding us all in suspense.  Let’s just hope Asher continues to live out the meaning of his name – blessed.

  1. We are praying for you guys during this time of uncertainity. Just know that even though you are uncertain of the outcome … our Father in Heaven is not. We are praying that your hearts are full of peace as you wait. Waiting is hard and we are praying that He will draw you closer to each other and to Him as you fully trust in him each and every minute as you walk through this trial. Know that you are covered in prayers!

    heather’s last blog post…Do you use diapers?

  2. CJ…You bless me with your vulnerability in your honesty. Even though female, I hate that I can’t fix everything as the Mom. I was just thinking as I was reading and praying that I can’t hold my own little girl and take away all of her anxious thoughts, but we have an amazing God that can (and will) do a much better job of it than I.
    I am so thankful that she also has you by her side. Your family is beautiful…Asher is “blessed” to be a part of it and we are all “blessed” to watch him grow into the wonderful man that God intends him to be. I believe that we will see great things and that God will be glorified in a might way. Know that I am praying for each of you continually and that I love you. Nancy

  3. Rene Waterson says:

    CJ & Andrea, It brings tears to my eyes to read your blog and to try and understand what you must be going through. It is so hard not to have control over certain aspects of our lives, or the lives of others, but as you know all too well, God IS in control. Rely on him when you are weak, and give him all the praise when you are strong. He will get you through this because you believe and trust in him. Asher is a very strong little guy and has such wonderful, loving, faithful parents. Your love is flowing through him. We will keep praying for Asher and your family. Rene

  4. Hey man, I know that you know I am praying. If not, then you need to rest assured that I am, and I am getting everyone I know to pray too.

    We’re here man. But more impotantly, God is here and He really *is* at work.

    ScottMocha’s last blog post…A Call to Prayer

  5. We’re continuing to hold you guys up in prayer. Like ScottMocha said, God really IS at work even though it doesn’t feel like it.

    Brad Ruggles’s last blog post…Funny Cialis / Viagra ads

  6. Man thanks for your comment

    I am sad about your news man, i trust you know Gods peace right now and that these results are nothing serious

    Blessings
    ally

    p.s im gonna link you if that is ok?

    ally simpson’s last blog post…Today in Technicolor……

  7. Just stopped by to let you know that my wife and I are praying for you guys!

  8. Jess Gerstmeyer says:

    I read about you guys on Scott’s blog……and I just wanted to stop by and let you know we are praying for Asher!

  9. Asher’s name is no accident…I believe God placed it on your hearts and now He will show Himself through Asher’s life just as He has from day one!

    I am so proud of you and Andrea, as parents, as believers and as individuals. Please know that I continue to lift you all up in prayer “without ceasing” and that I stand with you claiming God’s glory and victory in Asher’s life!

  10. Love you, buddy. Sara and I have been praying for you everyday. Stay strong and let us know if you need anything… We’re even good babysitters if you need another night away at the movies with your wifey…

  11. @ally @tony @jess » thanks for stopping by guys. I appreciate your kind words and feel free to link, ally!

    @Brook – maybe we need to find a babysitter and have a date night with YOU guys!

    @everyone else » thanks for your continued support!

  12. CJ….

    My heart and prayers are with you. I heard your story through Brent at inWorship.

    Brother all I can say is lean on the Father God who brings comfort, strength, and endurance in these times of need. All though tough continue to find the Joy in pouring your love into your family.

    As a Man and Dad myself, I pain for you as you watch young Asher. My imagination runs wild with what your thoughts and feelings are. Just know you are in my prayers.

    Stay Strong….

    In him who is the Savior, Christ Jesus.

    ckroboth’s last blog post…More Blogs added to the rotation…

  13. CJ–Although I am neither a parent nor a male…I worked critical care and trauma before going into law and man, I do know what you are going through. My thoughts are with you and your wife. That prescious child will be home soon. :-)

  14. My boys, Jake (5) and Eli (3) prayed for Asher and your family last night… we will continue to as well. Jesus loves you

    Nick’s last blog post…Sneak Peek

  15. @ckroboth » thanks for stopping by and bringing words of encouragement! Much needed right now.

    @pollyh » I’m sure you’ve seen it all in the critical care and trauma unit. Thanks for your prayers

    @Nick » thanks for bringing your family to the table of prayer! Do your little guys like soccer as much as you do?

  16. Jonathan Wolf says:

    CJ,
    I just had a quick moment to check my e-mail and pulled up your website to get an update on Asher. I will update the rest of the group here in Honduras and we will pray for Asher and his family tonight.

  17. I will continue to pray CJ. I am so grateful to learn from you as you go through this. You are giving all of us an example in attitude and faith.

    brent(inWorship)’s last blog post…Your Prayer

  18. Asher and your family remain in my prayers daily. Asher is very blessed by you and you are blessed by Asher. God has everything under control :).

    Nikki’s last blog post…Big Prayer Request

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