A Year Of Change

As we come to the final days of the year, I find myself thinking about the same thing – what have I changed about myself to become a better husband, father, friend, co-worker, etc. Am I better or the same? Did I slide a bit?  How did I grow?  Its a tough conversation to have inside my head because this year I haven’t managed the same growth as I have in past years.  I’m still trying to find a balance between work and home, with home getting the shaft most of the time.  I’m still struggling with being a selfish husband and father, though I find my relationship with my daughter growing each day.  Finding time for my wife has been difficult this year.  The addition of Asher, a new home, a growing daughter, a successful job – all take time away from the one who makes me who I am.  That needs to change.

Asher obviously brought significant change this year.  He has changed my faith.  He has changed my approach to life.  He has given me a better understanding of what it means to fight – even at 5 pounds.  I’d like to think Asher was the catalyst for much of my desired change this year and I believe he has had a similar impact on others.  But more importantly is the change Asher has experienced himself.  Brain damage to no brain damage.  Breathing issues to healthy lungs.  Developmental issues to ahead of schedule.  He’s such a fighter – and despite all of those “battles”, he still manages to smile more than any other baby I have ever seen.  He is truly an inspiration.

While cleaning up the new nursery the other day, Andrea came across one of his preemie sleepers and compared it to the one he just got for Christmas – holy crap.  I forgot how small the little guy was!

(photo from July 8th, 2008)